Melissa
Estados Unidos
Aborto
I am glad that I found this site because reading everyone's incidents made me speak up about what I almost did. I found out I was pregnant again on May 27, 2005. By that time I was already 4 weeks pregnant and I already had a daughter who had just turned 5 months old. So I was really freaked out. To be honest, I wasn't happy at all. I felt overwhelmed because overall I had a low tolerance in children anyways and I just started going back to my old self emotionally and physically after having my first daughter. Emotionally, I felt that I couldn't possibly be able to take care of two babies who were gonna be close together. The first thing that came to my mind was abortion and I told my fiance of 3 years about it. He wasn't too happy. He was finding ways to convince me to keep it and I was being stubborn and telling him that I didn't care what he had to say.
In a way, I was being selfish. All I cared about was how I wanted to feel. My fiance' said that even though he didin't like my decision he would still support me. And I could look at his face and tells he was saddened. I cared but didn't care at the same time. I didn't tell my mom until...June 18th of 2005. I told her my situation about wanting to get an abortion and she automatically told me to DO IT. Her attitude had seemed like she wanted me to do what she wanted me to do and in a way I doubted the decision, but every time my mom would ask I would somewhat lie to her and tell her yeah I was gonna do it. In the back of my mind I asked myself "Am I ready to take care of a newborn so soon?" My mom would call me everyday telling me what other people have told her on where to get the abortion at and what it may cost. And how it made them "do better" knowing they don't have to think about a baby.
All I could say was uh-huh and yeah. I had my up and down days where I would feel confident that I could get the abortion and continue raising my current daughter. And there are my days where I would feel that maternal love for this unborn child. Or I would be cranky and very moody not knowing what the hell I wanted to do. Then one day when I was 9 weeks pregnant I was looking through the internet to find out about abortions and I noticed that they had photos of these aborted babies. I looked at whichever ones I was able to look at and I literally cried because all I kept thinking about was my daughter. Every time I looked at her precious face all I could think was that I would NEVER hurt her like that or in any way, shape or form. So I kept looking and looking and I grew upset at these doctors who would perform such a thing and upset with these mothers who would think of doing such a thing! I cried hard and for a long time.
And my daughter looked at me with those big eyes. And because of it I had told myself I am going to keep this child I am carrying regardless of the situation. I am going to go through with this because I am not a killer. I told my fiance' about it while I cried and he gave me a hug and told me he was glad I didn't make that decision because it's wrong to take a innocent life. I am currently still carrying this baby at 30 weeks and I'm having a girl. She is due on February 5, 2006. And I'm glad that I never successfully started going through with aborting this child because I know I would feel guilty for the rest of my life. And the reality of the life I have inside me did not hit me until after I felt my baby move inside me. And I just wanted to say that if anyone is thinking about getting an abortion, please think twice because being a woman and carrying a life inside of you is the most beautiful thing in this world and the most beautiful experience...
