My story is a wonderful gift from God.
In May, 2001 I became pregnant. I was living in a modeling environment, fashions, shows, castings, shootings, promotions; my weight was only 90 pounds and my major ambition: “to look good, not to gain weight”. My boyfriend was using condoms, but on that May 22, 2001, the condom broke. I knew at that very moment that I was pregnant.

I started to experience changes in my body: nauseas, dizziness; I felt sleepy and tired; I would tell myself: “it can’t be”. When I saw POSITIVE in the blood test I wanted to die, I screamed and cried, I didn’t want to have children, I didn’t want that baby, and I could not have that baby. I saw my entire life destroyed, my dreams shattered, my goals vanished, my body, my dreams of modeling, everything finished. But I found a solution: ABORTION.

So, one day I went to an abortion clinic. As soon as I arrived I felt a pain in my heart, an overwhelming maternal feeling. I could not stop crying and feeling hopeless. I started to beg forgiveness to God and to my baby for what I was about to do in that place. I wiped off my tears and filled in the required form. I felt chills, a terrible fear; I thought I was going to die in that place. But I though again: “I can’t have it”. I remember they called my name and I told to the secretary: “Before having the abortion, I would like to have an ultrasound made, to see for once … I don’t know, whatever I have in there”.

I changed my clothes for the clinic gowns and sat to wait in a sofa. Beside me there where other 6 women that were ready to commit the same crime that me. When my turn came, mi legs were trembling. I laid in a bed, two nurses totally cold- looking helped my in the procedure. Then, a tall man, rude, serious, a murderer; came into the room. He treated me badly from the beginning. As soon as he saw me, he commented: “I don’t like how this woman looks”. He gave me the instructions: “I am going to perform a vaginal exploration, so you will be able to see what you have inside, and I will see in what position it is to suction it with this instrument”. As soon as he introduced the tube to perform the vaginal exploration I complained about the pain. He rudely answered: “Dear, if this hurts, get prepared for what is coming after”. I wanted to leave, I was feeling bad, and I had a lot of pain. But I was already there and I was determined to do it, even with sorrow in my soul.

But because up there, there is a God that sees and knows everything, that doctor said: Are you sure you are pregnant? I answered: “Yes, I am”. He says: did you bring your test? He looked at the test and showing me the screen says: “there is nothing…I really don’t see anything….I see absolutely nothing and you are already one month pregnant…it is supposed to be visible; you have to wait more time”. I told him: “no problem, I will come later”. But as soon I left the clinic I though: “my God, what is this?”. Easy, God is so great that he didn’t let my baby to be visible, because my son had to be born.

The next day I visited a cousin who is a nurse and asked her to make me a sonogram; she took me to the hospital she was working at the time. I told her what had happened to me in that clinic. To my surprise, when the nurse put that sonogram machine in my abdomen, a small little thing beating showed up. It was my baby’s heart. I was able to see the little bag containing it…God is great!

I made the decision to continue with my pregnancy. On January 31 this year I had the happiest day of my life. I had my first son by cesarean section. That little human laying by my side was a very beautiful experience. He was born healthy, strong. Today that human being is the reason of my life. I love him with all my heart, he is the little person I love the most in this world, I would have never forgiven myself for murdering my son. I cry at nights when I see him sleeping and I remember what I was about to do to him.

My son is a happy boy, has always a smile in his face. He is the best gift God has given to me.

To all women that find themselves in a difficult situation right now, and are thinking in abortion: STOP! Don’t do it! Think first, analyze. Your baby is innocent, he or she didn’t ask to come to the world, give to him or to her the opportunity to live.

I could have gone back to that clinic but I didn’t do it because God didn’t allow it. A child is not a burden; burden will be carrying the guilt in your conscience because of murdering your own child, your own blood. We give life to innocent beings; God doesn’t give us loads that we are unable of carrying. And remember, make this sentence of mine your sentence too: “dark clouds won’t prevail eternally, the sun will bright again and the clouds will disappear”

I don’t care for modeling any more, I don’t care about the body, I live only for my son, to see him growing healthy and happy, and above all…..to lead him in the ways of God, the one who saved him while he was in my womb, and gave him life: God. God bless you. I hope my story helps you to go ahead saying: YES to life and NO to ABORTION.